SATIRE — This is a humour site. Every story is a comic rewrite of a real news item; follow the link under each one for the actual reporting. About
Monday 2 November 2026Price: one weary sighEst. reluctantly

The Understatement

Not entirely unexpected news, since 2026

Home › Politics

Politics · Satire

Prime Minister's Categorical Denial Of Early Election Confirms To Westminster That Early Election Is Coming

Andy Burnham has ruled out an early general election in the clearest possible terms, causing some Labour MPs to tell their staff to prepare for one. Under long-standing Westminster convention, nothing is believed until it has been officially denied at least three times. The only thing that would truly kill the speculation, presumably, is if the PM said he definitely wanted one.

More Politics